what the hell is this thing? that's jack's mobile. actually, it's his third mobile. the first 2 are deeply embedded in the drywall. they can be quite frustrating to assemble. do you remember when he was teething and he would stare up at that thing for hours? yep. so what do you wanna do tonight? why don't we just hang here and look at the stars until we're comfortable enough to make out a little? ok. i'm cool with that. ♪ pretty soon we were takin' it serious ♪ not yet. ok. let me know. [thinking] and like that, i felt like all was right with the couples in the world. neil diamond: ♪ ...like a boat out of hell ♪ i'm tellin' you ♪ to the sound of the beat i was hangin' on ♪ ♪ like a powerful truth, it was bangin' on me ♪ ♪ wouldn't let me go ♪ like a shot in the dark ♪ she was hot like a spark ♪

♪ i only know ♪ neither one of us trying to hold it down ♪ ♪ neither one of us taking the middle ground ♪ ♪ wasn't how to make sense we were thinking of ♪ ♪ just the two of us bent on delirious love ♪ sss. ♪ me and you being spent on delirious love ♪ ♪ i can feel it ok, now. ♪ makin' time to the beat of delirious love ♪ [thinking] and right then i knew this was the start of something important. ♪ you and me gettin' sweet on delirious love ♪

[knocking] 2 and a half weeks is too long to wait for a third date. i'm pregnant. what now? >> july 21, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. [cheering and applause] our guest tonight, a young man named scott miller. he is the author of a new book on william mckinley's ass. [laughter]

i'm going to assume that is "assassination." you got to stop abbreviationing around here, not to say that william mckinley did not have a noteworthy rear end. folks, we are a mere 15 and a half months away from what will definitely be called the most important election of our lifetime. an inveritable herd of republican candidates have already begun the treacherous migratory journey to become their party's nominee. they will need strength. they will need agility. they will need luck. but mostly to survive they will need money, [bleeped] boatloads of money. >> we have the numbers behind

you. mitt romney $18.4 million. pawlenty $4.4 million. bachmann the same. huntsman $4.2 million. herman cain raised $2.5 million. gingrich $2 million. rick santory um not so much, $500,000. >> jon: $500,000 in the war chest. buh-bye. [laughter] sadly, that image is still only the second most unpleasant image you get when you google the name "santorum." go ahead. do it. do it right. now i can wait. now, what about that old silverback, newt gingrich. by the way, that's not a wildlife metaphor. he stopped shaving his back when he left congress. >> newt gingrich, what did he have $2.1 million? that's more than i thought he should have. >> there should be ans asterisk next to that because he's actually $1 million in debt.

>> jon: okay, there could be a little asterisk there or you could change the mother to minus one million. either way it's a tip graphical issue. it's not going to hurt gingrich, unless he was out there ten weeks ago touting his fiscal bona fide. >> i am debt-free. if the u.s. government was as debt-free as i am, everybody in america would be celebrating. [laughter] >> jon: actually, per capita, we owe $45,000 per person, so the u.s. government is, in fact, in a lot less debt than you are. [laughter] santorum is a wounded wildebeast, and gingrich is apparently a spawning salmon. all right. now we're getting there. let's see where governor tim pawlenty is at. he's got there 4.4 million raised. >> former governor tim pawlenty

kicked off three weeks of iowa bodily harm storming in advance of the straw poll next month with an r.v. storm and a warning that iowans should not raise their support on charismatic candidates who can't actually win. >> jon: oh, tim pawlenty taking a bold stand against kris matt. [laughter] it's got no place in politics. hey, look, this is not a popularity contest. oh, it is? oh. well, i wonder how "the daily show" will depict pawlenty's demise. [laughter] if a pawlenty campaign falls in the woods, does it make a sound? who's next. >> herman cain raised $2.5 million. >> jon: $2.5 million for herman cain. that's a lot of pepperoni for the godfather of pizza. why is cain connecting?

>> i think i'm connecting because of my passion about my support and belief in the constitution. >> jon: yes. herman cain has passion. support and belief in the constitution.ñr but does herman cain have an understanding of the constitution? >> you said this week that you oppose construction of a new mosque in murfreesboro, tennessee. what's your objection to their building a new mosque? >> our constitution guarantees separation of church and state. islam combines church and state. they are using the church part of our firm to infuse their mosque in that community, and the people in the community do not like it. they disagree with it. >> jon: right, right, right. first let's address... [laughter] what i believe may be some pronoun issues. [laughter]

using "our" first amendment to build "" mosque. in reality, the first amendment protects "their" mosque from "us." >> so you're saying any community, if they want to ban a mosque... >> yes, they have the right to do that. that's not discriminating based upon religion against their particular religion. [laughter] >> jon: i'm pretty sure that's the definition of discriminating based upon religion. let me see if i can illustrate that by replacing the word mosque in that sentence in the, yes, they can ban the mosque sentence, with the word church. or synagogue or church-synagogue or scientology celebrity center. unless you're suggesting islam is other than an religion. >> islam is both a religion and

a set of laws, sharia law. that's the difference between any one of our other traditional religions whenwhere it's just about religious purposes. >> jon: yes, yes, yes. [laughter] it's very different. it's very different. i read about the strangeness of their combination of religion and laws in my people's holy book, the torah, which translated into english literally means "the law." i don't think the predators are even going to bother with this one. [laughter] that's adorable. of course, there's one candidate who seems to be gaining strength by the day, michele bachmann, but can her $4.2 million

fund-raising help fed off questions about herrelltive lack of experience and knowledge, and this thing. >> former aides say the congresswoman is prone to "debilitating migraines." >> will michele bachmann's migraines hurt her bid? >> should this be considered a campaign issue? >> jon:, got to say, of all my issues with michele bachmann's brain... [laughter] migraine's not even top 20. but who are we kidding? we know who the clear front-runner is. $18 million raised, mitt romney is the king of the jungle. he's the super predator of the race. he's the republican's leader. back-up weekend gretchen thinks there may be one big difference between romney. >> i think he could get a lot of money from that. >> big time. >> romney obviously not being a christian. >> jon: what? someone get that woman to book a

mormon. really, ? can't get in until february 2014? wow, that thing is doing well. well, i'm sure back-up weekend gretchen's producers will point out the fallacy of her reasoning during the next commercial break. >> during the 6:00 a.m. i mentioned that mitt romney was not a christian. he is a member of the jesus christ of latter-day saints church, and that church does consider its members christians. >> jon: oh, and one other thing, time for lutherans to [bleeped] or get off the pot. reformation is over. you're in or you're out. we'll be right back. [ saxophone melody plays ]

[ saxophone melody plays ]

soothing matterhorn fabio's music. [ old spice whistle ] oh.

something caught my eye yesterday. congresswoman debbie wasserman-shultz caused a bit of an uproar when she laid into a florida republican, his support of the cut, cap, balance bill. >> incredibly, the gentleman from florida, who represents thousands of medicare beneficiary, as do i, is supportive of this plan to increase costs for medicare beneficiaries, unbelievable from a member from south florida. >> jon: slam! i bet allen west totally disagrees with her premise that cut, cap and balance raises costs for medicare beneficiaries and he's going to lay down a substantive statistical recitation of that accusation.

congressional style. >> allen west fired off this e-mail saying, "you want a personal fight i'm happy to oblige. you are the most vile, unprofessional and despicable member of the u.s. house of representatives. if you have something to say to me, stop being a coward and say it to my face." [audience reacts] >> jon: say it to my face. how do you make a frowning face in modicon? what do you have there, colon parentheses there? send. >> otherwise shut the heck up. you have proven repeatedly that you are not a lady therefore shall not be afforded due respect from me. >> jon: adding please find attached as a token of my disrespect a picture of anthony weiner's [bleeped]. good day. i said good day.

that thing still freaks me out. needless to say, the bit about not being a lady got some attention of some of the women in congress. they held a press conference to inform allen west that as women he can suck their [bleeped]. >> once again we have been told that in order to be a lady, that we need to just stay in our places. >> in any other employment environment, he would be subject to a sexual harassment claim for creating a hostile work environment. >> jon: and this hostile work environment is why we wear these ancient amulets around our neck, to protect us from the hostility. let me show you how they work. you are not a lady. i don't think you have... i don't respect... you can't her me with unicorns and rainbows. son of a...

[laughter] wow. we know how to make smoke graphically? that's very nice. actually all this is just a back story to the thing that really caught my attention, which was allen west's response to this entire thing. >> in a statement to nbc news, his office says, "congressman west does not hate women." [laughter] >> jon: which brings us to our new segment, "statements of clarification that probably won't do you any good." let's watch. >> i just want to make it absolutely clear, i abhor slavery. [laughter] >> jon: all right. i just popped in here. i'm not exactly sure what the story is going on here, all the hubbub about the migraines and anything, but did i miss a larger previous issue or michele bachmann came out in favor of slavery? but, of course, my favorite, favorite one happened in the heat of a conversation. see if you can catch the statement of clarification that probably won't do fox news

psychaiatrist and part-time lex luther impersonator keith ablow any good. >> i'm not sure if you see a little girl as her breasts being sexual that that doesn't reflect more on you. >> i assure you i'm not a pedophile at all. >> jon: at all. nailed it. we'll be right back. [ male announcer ] introducing mgd 64 lemonade. 64 calories of beer with a refreshing lemonade twist.

because the best kind of lemonade, is beer lemonade. new mgd 64 lemonade. refreshingly light.

>> jon: welcome back my guest tonight, he's a writer. his new book is called the president and the as assassin: mckinley empire at the dawn of the century." please welcome scott miller. thank you so much for being here. [applause] thank you for joining us. >> my pleasure. >> we're very excited. big mckinley fans out there tonight. [applause] i got to tell you, i know i'm

not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but i got to tell you, beautifully done. mckinley gets no love. why does mckinley get no love? you have your assassinated presidents, your lincoln, your kennedy, garfield gets a little love. mckinley, no love. the last guy in the trivia question. >> he had the misfortune of being followed by one of our most beloved and charismatic presidents, theodore rose vel, and mckinley, because he was assassinated, he didn't leave a lot of written record. his wife was an inhave a lid, she didn't survive to write very much. if you look at his five years in office from 1897 to 1901, they were filled with great drama, great excitement. he led the u.s. into war with spain. he took over cuba, puerto rico and... >> >> jon: china. >> small things like that. got into nasty war in the philippines. it was really a dramatic period

in american history. >> jon: and battled terror at home. the fella whos as -- who assassinated him discovered an, aism a few years before. he was very upset about the conditions that americans labored under at this time in the latter part of 1900s. he was looking for a solution, and an, archism appealed to him. he went to a speech given by emmitt goldman in 1901, may 1901, where he was very impressed. he said that her words made his skull hurt he was so taken by what she said. >> jon: although, to be fair, his skull probably hurt beforehand because he was a little bit of a knuckle head. >> he was a bit of a loaner. >> jon: i was struck by it was one of those situations, usually even in these situations, an assassin, they go to the family. everybody who is family is like,

yeah, we never liked that guy. his step dad and sister are like, yeah, that guy was nuts. i knew something bad was going to happen here. >> it was very sad when the newspaper reporters descended on the family. his stepmother in particular was like, we knew he was no good. >> jon: yeah. >> the only thing that surprised him was that he had enough ambition and energy to do something like this. >> she said, that can't be him, he's kind of a coward. >> exactly. >> jon: it was crazy. the themes, you know, we always try and look back. i always like to in modern times we get this sense that we're on the precipice of, you know, unprecedented difficulties and tenuous times. people back then complained about the unprecedented, tenuous, difficult time, the violence, the terror, how we had lost our moral compass. how often does that... it appears to have reached a peak at that time. >> people, ordinary americans were very aware and very afraid

of anarchists in the 1890s. there had been a string of attacks in europe against royal household and industrialists. in the u.s., four anarchists were hacked because of the murder of a chicago policemen. it was a loony toon bomb, a round thing was a fuse they had thrown in, killed a policemen. a couple years later anarchists tried to assassinate henry clay frick, a steel magnate. >> the story of the gentleman who tried to assassinate frick where he basically makes an appointment with frick, bursts into his office, shoots him twice in the neck, stabs him, wrestles him... >> uh-huh. >> jon: guy walks away. >> frick was one tough guy. >> jon: i was going to say. >> yes. he refused anaesthesia during the operation when they removed the bullets from his neck. once they stitched him up, he went back to his desk and completed a bank loan and wrote

a letter to his mom and lived for decades. >> jon: here's the crazy part about the letter, it didn't mention the shooting. but it's like, they're probing his neck, yeah, that's it, that hurts. unbelievable. it's also interesting how the speech, you know, anarchists could speak openly about praising killing. it was a very different time in america. you imagine that there was less freedom of speech, but in many ways it was more. emmitt goldman who he sites, he basically said, "i killed mckinley because emmitt goldman." think of how we are in this society, yet she still continued to give speeches. >> it was a very fine line that emmitt goldman walked between disavowing violence and then she also occasionally would show compassion for anarchists who had murdered somebody. it's very difficult. she was very famous around the country for giving speeches.

she was often arrested. she kept a book with her because she spent so many nights in jail so she'd have something to do. police would take her out of jail in the morning and send her on to the next town. get out of our hair. >> were they word searches? jumbles? just reading and that sort of thing? >> yeah. >> jon: is mckinley's legacy, would you say, the fact that his economy ushered us into the industrial age or that his warring ushered us into the imperial age? what would you say? >> i would think that the latter. for the first time, up until him, up until mckinley, the u.s. had been very much focused on settling the north american continent. when he was killed, for the first time the u.s. had possessions overseas. we had colonies. the philippines was a virtual colony. we had developed a policy with regard to china, the open-door policy, which really guided our policy in the far east right up until pearl harbor. so he really introduced america to foreign affairs and provided

commitments for us. >> jon: that's the nicest way i've ever heard that put. he introduced us to foreign affairs and commitments, commitments we still enjoy today. [laughter] "the president and the assassin" on the bookshelves now. scott miller, thank you so much. ♪ have a better day [ male announcer ] only subway has a deal this flat-out delicious -- the new $3 flatbread breakfast combo. a toasty 6-inch flatbread breakfast sandwich and a 16-ounce cup of freshly brewed seattle's best coffee.

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>> jon: that's our show. join us next week at 11:00. so there you have it. finally. stop with the letters and the cards and the e-mails. we had the mckinley guy on. done. [cheering and applause] here it is, your moment of zen. >> honest to god, my favorite no peanut butter. stracaptioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org

>> tonight, should students be taught gay history? only if they're teaching that gay is history. [laughter] then a controversy at the "today show." the cooking segment got out of control and they ate matt lauer. and my guest will discuss his book "incognito: the secret lives of the brain." if i find out my brain has been seeing another skull, i will be pissed. you say potato, i say who are you and why are you saying "potato" to me? this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by

comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] [awed -- audience chanting "stephen"] >> stephen: welcome to "the report." thank you. thank you. welcome to "the report." ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us. you know, sometimes i am tempted to keep you people from chanting, but then i think, why waste your breath moaning? nothing can be done to stop the shouting.